The best years of our lives? I have personally never been more confused, tangled, befouled, dishevelled, lost, and straight up depressed in my entire life. Every day it’s a battle with well, life. What is my calling in life? Will I be married? Have kids? When? Is this where I will be living my entire life? Should I go back to school? Is he the person I am going to end up with? How do I know who my real friends are? Am I drinking to much? Is it me, or the city I live in? Am I making the right choices? The list goes on and on. How do we know what the right thing to do is? Are we still too young? I know life is about creating our own destiny, but sometimes I wonder what my true talents, and passions are? Am I really even good at anything? Am I even really good at what I do? I am always burdened with the thought that someone is better, smarter, more beautiful and more talented. Why?
I want to be unique, someone who shines, someone who makes a difference, someone who is known for how brilliant she is. I here people tell me all the time, ” you are so great at what you do”, “you are going to do such great things in life”, “you are so talented”. Is it normal that I don’t see what any of these people see in me? Is it common that every-time someone hits me with a compliment like that I think to myself how full of sh*t they are? Or are these simply the symptoms of being in your twenties? What about friends? I have been through so many “friends” that I can’t even keep up anymore. All from different walks life. Some are artists, others are lost souls, others good people on the wrong path, others awful people on the right path, others so consumed with being “in” with this pretentious cities “it list” that they don’t even know who they are, let alone myself. Others simply looking for any possible way to use for well, anything. Whether it be cocktails on you at tonight’s happy hour, or a blind date setup with one of your prestigious boyfriends friends.
They say it’s all about “who you know” but quite frankly all of these “get your foot in the door hookups” I’ve ever encountered turn out being nothing but a waste of my precious time. All based on their demeanor and ethical values alone (at least in this city). Do we suck it up, swallow our pride and fake a “business relationship” just to get our foot in the door and keep a “high profile” ? Or do we stick to our beliefs and rely solely on our selves to make it “big” in this world? I’ve never been one who did well in meet & greets with the “cities high profile” crowd. They never had anything to offer me that I would be interested in taking them up on, nor did any of their conversations spark my attention. Well, maybe that’s because whenever they talk I block every word out after about 3 seconds into the conversation and just nod my head after everything they say, sharing no opinions, remarks on myself, what I do, or what I believe in. Or maybe it’s because my one idea and plan in life is so sacred and so fixed in my head that I already know that only I will be able to bring the vision I have created for it to life. I consider myself very independent, yet extremely private. I never share my true thoughts and beliefs with any except one or two people that I hold very dear to my heart. I never ask for help, and am stubborn enough to never accept help. I am completely and utterly fixated on the idea of being “self made”. Is this where my problem is? I focus on creating a strong and good name for myself (despite my rebellious teenage past) . I strive to put all my energy into something that I believe in, something that holds my heart, and I stick to what I know. Why do these miserable twenties always find ways to set me off and confuse me? (even if it’s temporary).
People don’t want to put trust in a person that questions their destiny. There is something that makes us, as humans uncomfortable about putting our fate, problems, and trust in someone that doesn’t have a strong fate and trust themselves. Have you ever thought to yourself that maybe all these super confident, strong, and successful men and women who seem to be roaring beyond belief and booming in every way possible are really the ones that suffer the most? The most unsure and the least put together? Most likely, you thought right, they are. There egos are to high to admit to their weaknesses, their image is to strong to be fractured, and their “name” is too high up on a pedestal to be tampered with. Is there a way to be successful, trusted, and reliable all while being honest? All while sharing your weaknesses, your truth, your struggles, and your battles? Or will your honesty crush your reputation, the business you are running, and your image of being “strong & successful”? Can we break the mold that makes all humans attracted to only those who show no weaknesses and only perfections?
XX fabulous twenties
As we are approaching the third week of November, it’s hard to push off the holidays any longer. For most, this time of year is filled with love, joy, scrumptious foods, fabulous cocktails, divine decor, majestic garments, and exquisite parties. With all that said, lets talk holidays!
Holiday parties dos and don’ts. As we all know, this time of year, egg nog suddenly becomes the drink to drink, hot toddy’s replace hot coco and extra dirty martinis start flowing x’s 3 and your excuse to say “no” starts evaporating, because after all, “it is the holidays”. Stay polished dolls! Although friends and family may love that care free, funny, lighthearted, always say what’s on your mind you, unfortunately not all our fellow party goers are on the same page, whether they admit it or not. The reality is, holiday party or engagement party no one likes the blowsy, unkempt girl that starts slurring her words mid sentence and ends up getting carried home hours before the actual event is over. Let’s face it, it’s easy to get carried away, and happens to us all at one point or another, but this holiday season let’s kick it off right and stay on the right track. Stick to the two drink rule, but really stick to it! We may be feeling fine and fab after those first two, but the full effect hasn’t even come close to kicking in. Why risk the whispers and speculation when you can glow, dazzle, and be the talk of the night all while sticking with those 2 drinks (you’ll have plenty of time to let loose in whatever care free comportment you choose later on). Contain yourself, stay polished, have a look that is legendary, put yourself out there, stay on your “A” game, keep the conversations light, and you’re holiday party demeanor is bound to be a success.
Next on the list, the dress. Stay classic. Year, after year, after year it’s the same thing over and over again. Glitter, sparkles, short, cropped, tight, obnoxious, smoldering etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Ladies, really? Just because we love the lights and glitter on our christmas tree and home decor, does not mean we should look like it. This holiday season it’s all about staying fresh, tailored, clean and crisp. Winter whites are beyond a phenomenal concept for this year. They portray and paint the idea of winter threw there corse textures, textile, and fabrics. They depict a fresh , royal, unique and classic holiday look that blows everyone off there feet (trust me). If you’re more of a traditional holiday color kind of gal, steer towards your deep and royal blues, maroons, and reds. AVOID black (and the girl wearing it). A girl wearing black this season is basically shrilling out to the world that she is boring, fearful, afraid of color, not a risk taker, definitely not fashion forward, and not willing to pencil out side of the box for one minute. Hell, it’s the happiest time of the year, if you’re wearing black now, I don’t even want to know what you’re wearing for every other occassion in your life. Don’t be that girl. Be different, bold, classic. Keep a dark lip, a red lip, or a bold lip. Keep the eye makeup light, and bring the cat eye out. Keep your hair conservative, and natural (loose curls, sleek straight, soft up do) . Don’t think for a second the overdone prom hairdo and tight curls is going to cut it this year (or any other year moving forward). Stick with nude tone shoes, they make your legs look stunning, long, and sculpted. Shine with a radiant, natural and healthy glow. It’s winter, so unless we’re living at the tanning/coffin bed and setting ourselves up for thousands of dollars of plastic surgery to come, we’re most likely a tad bit pasty and pale. Get yourself on a routine (if you haven’t already) with either jergens natural glow, the glorious l’oreal tan towels, or St. Tropez’s amazing tan line if you feel today’s your day to splurge. A healthy glow for the holiday turns any look into a finished, and luminous one.
Keep your heart filled with the love and joy of the holiday’s, enjoy the gift of giving, and don’t ever let yourself to get too frazzled with the little things. Stay fabulous, contained, and make this year, a year to remember.
XX and Happy Holidays!
The other night I was reading the “Ask E. Jean” section in Elle on a rather lengthy flight back from Chicago. E. Jean always captures my attention, but in this month’s November issue, she really got me thinking. A twenty-five year old recent grad wrote to her expressing her fears of not being able to find a job, recently getting cut off from her parents, and driving her “sweet” boyfriend into debt. E. Jeans response to this was so simple and blunt that it completely caught me off guard. “Never waste time looking for a job when you can invent a job.” That easy? Theres no way, but think for a minute, really think. There is a way, and it’s almost as easy done as said. I’m a firm believer that “a job done with passion is a job well done”. With that said, think about your passion. Is it writing? Art? Interior decorating? Technology? YOU have the power to create a job out of each and every one of your passions! With today’s technology, social media, internet, free marketing strategies etc. there is no reason for you not to take matters into your own hands. You love interior design? Get on your computer, start a website, broadcast your ideas and thoughts with the world via facebook, twitter, instagram, tumblr and get started! We are our own sources of success, why do we all keep forgetting that? Going to college and furthering your education is fantastic, especially when its within a field that you’re passionate about, but people going through all this simply because “it’s the right thing to do” infuriates me more than anything I can think of. Algebra, statistics, and reading comp can all be taught in school, but passion and talent cannot.
Today, relive your true passion. Rediscover your talent’s if they’ve been long gone, and take some time to re-asses and re-evaluate your life. Are you passionate about the life you are leading, your career, and the overall path you are on? Always remember that your true passion and love will never fail you in the long run. While it may take a few wrong turns, and miles of bumpy roads, risk the journey. In the end, not only will you, yourself be fulfilled, but you’ll be looking at your previous paychecks as pocket change. We all can read this and feel inspired but in most cases that inspiration is only a temporary high. Tomorrow, we are right back to where we were this morning at 8 AM, on our way to work and that inspiration we captured for a short moment is lost. That’s the problem with us humans. For the most part, we all know what the right thing to do is but we’re scared. We fear failure. Either let your ego, pride, and fear of failure go, or continue on with your 9-5 with no complaints. I want you to ask yourself “Do I want to be average or do I want to take the risk, expect failure, and saddle up for the ride to my final, fulfilling destination?” Always remember you, and only you control your destiny. As a closing comment, keep in mind Emerson’s challenging quote, “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Happy Destiny xx
A zen lifestyle is a lifestyle that reflects our mind, body, and spirit. It completely transforms our day to day routine, our state of mind, and our overall purpose and way of life. When we wake each morning, it is so important for us to understand that the way we start our day off and the energy we wake with is the energy that will stay with us throughout the day. If you wake feeling, tense, rushed, exhausted, frazzled, etc. you better believe that the rest of your day will be no different. That’s why today I want talk about how we can start our mornings off with a zen routine that will last not only a morning, a day, or a week, but that will mold into a habit and way of life.
Last night during my vinyasa flow yoga class the instructor focused in on how we should start thanking our bodies for all that it does for us. Think about how much our bodies do for us just to keep us living, even when we’re sick. Start your morning by clasping your hands above your head, inhale deeply, and than exhale all while thanking your body, and expressing your appreciation for all that you have in life. Think about your work, hobbies, family, people you love, and the beauty all that surrounds you. Focus in on what you will achieve today, what the day will bring, what you want the day to bring. Select a purpose for your day and think of a being to dedicate and share your positive energy with (someone in need, less fortunate, sick). Following your meditation and thanks treat yourself to a strong cup of black tea instead of your daily coffee (some argue that the caffeine in black tea is not only stronger but lasts longer than the caffeine in coffee) and stir up a quick delicious multi-vitamin and antioxidant smoothie that will give you more natural energy than you’re ready to take on. Try 2 cups of water, 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 cup of spinach, a couple of kale leaves, and a lemon all together in a blender with about 1 cup of ice. Watch and feel the energy unravel. After this, simply get moving! The best way to get real full forced energy is to start the day off with a quick workout. Five minutes of yoga, 10 minutes on the treadmill, 15 on the elliptical (depending on your availability). Anything to get you moving and your endorphins woken up! Keep your healthy vibe, natural energy, and positive day flowing by snacking on super foods such as walnuts, flax seeds, blueberries, spelt, yogurts, sesame seeds, figs and a cup of green tea. Keep this up and you will see a positive change in not only your body, skin, and energy but your mood, your radiance, and your day to day happiness!
XX and Namaste